Carpe Diem

I was thinking about a phrase my father used to tell me all the time when I was younger. The saying goes "Don't put one foot in yesterday and another in tomorrow, you'll piss on today". When I was younger, I would always speak of how much "that time" was better or how great it will be when I'm "this old". My father would remind me to live for today, not piss on it. Much to my chagrin, I didn't listen and this affliction still curses me. I think we as a people constantly look to the past and yearn for days gone. How many times have we uttered "I miss high school" or "I had the time of my life back then, not like now". And if that weren't enough, we dream of when we have it all figured out. We go to school and wonder what it'll be like in "the real world", we get the "real world" and wonder what it'll be like to be married and have children. We get to there and long for days of retirement. It never ends. Whilst we are in the current time, we never seem to cherish it. In college, I was dating a girl seriously. I would constantly look to the day when I was married to her. Never realizing that in that moment, I was having so much fun. And that while I fantasized about the day, the white wedding wasn't meant to be. I never wanted to open my eyes to what was in front of me, I just kept inputting her into my future. Had I stepped back for a second, perhaps I would have realized that we weren't right for each other after all. On the other side, I now think of college and regard it as the best time in my life. I had a ton of fun, little responsibility and my whole life ahead of me. But when I was there, it seemed boring and meaningless. The fact is, I'm looking at the past with rose colored glasses. I remember the laughter and the fun, not the tears and the fighting. I look back on drinking with friends, not struggling to scrape enough money together just to eat. I wonder why we do this to ourselves. Why we choose to want a distorted version of the past or a hopeful vision of the future instead of taking in all that today has to offer. If I were to put all of my energy on today, and enjoy the moment perhaps I would have a better life. I don't know how to fix this, and perhaps I never will. But what I do know is that life should be about enjoying it, not being disappointed by it. In the end, I must consciously choose to seize the day and live it to it's fullest. Because what I need to remind myself is that yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.