I've been mulling a point lately and feel a desire to share it here. Forgive me for it's muddled gathering, I'll try to be coherent as possible. The topic of cheating has come up and I've thought about it greatly. Almost everyone I know that has been in relationships, has been or has cheated. With varying degrees of outcomes. Most couples I know, break up. Whether right away, or some time later. Either way, the infidelity is an envitable cause of the parting. And for me, I don't understand it the way I should. I don't understand the allure of cheating like my peers seem to. I understand the temptation as I have experienced it on numerous occasions. That look shared between to forbbiben potential lovers. The curiousity of the other. What they are like in the behind bedroom doors. Or simply, what they look like naked. I understand it. Feeling truly wanted, without the history or familiarity of your current spouse or partner. All of that I understand. But what alludes me, is the reasoning behind it. When the act is thought out and the consequences mulled over, it is always the wrong desiscion. Always. When that look or wonder becomes the morning after, the magic is gone. Cinderella's slipper laying on the floor in a heap of clothes. You are left with guilt, shame and dissapointment. Because in the end, no one ever lives up to the hype. Like a blockbuster movie with a bad script and worse acting. It's never the passionate decadent event that you imagine it to be. And so you are left with the question of confession. And that question will eat away at you, and your current relationship. So why do we as a people fail to think of this "morning after"? In the interest in full disclosure, I have cheated. And I didn't feel very good about it. And of course I kid myself into thinking that somehow it wasn't my fault. That I had no choice. But we do have a choice. It's thinking ahead, it's thinking how it'd feel if it happened to you. And having been cheated on, I know that it is one of the worst feelings on earth. Your mind races, thinking the impossible. The images of betrayal looping through your head. And when I ever think about the possibilities that lay ahead for me to cheat. I think of the way it broke my heart and haunted me for months, if not years. And the few hours of pleasure it would give is not worth giving the one I love a severe amount of pain. If I was able to do that, then I don't love them at all. Forgive me for the preachy nature of this post, but it's the truth. When you cheat, you think only of yourself. And I am not the type of person to do that anymore.
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